HOW TO UNMASK - SAFELY
You've spent years getting good at being someone else
EXPERT SUPPORT TO DISCOVER AND UNCOVER YOU
It's time to find out who you actually are
Maybe someone told you you're masking. Maybe you worked it out yourself. Either way - now you're just... sitting with that shnazzle. Not sure what to do with it. Not sure where to start. Not even sure who you'd be without it.
You're exhausted in a way you can't really explain. Life has always felt a bit harder than it looks for everyone else. And you're left with a wardrobe of clothes you don't recognise stood in the middle of your own life looking around thinking - none of this feels like mine
How to Unmask helps you see behind it all. The patterns, the relationships, the habits that are costing you more than you know. Once you can see them - you get to choose. What stays. What goes. What was never yours to carry in the first place.
✨ Got questions first? Email me at nicci@amplifytothrive.com or WhatsApp me on +447903 531599 -I'm here.✨
Does any of this sound familiar?
You're in the right place. And you're not broken. Not even a little bit.
- Exhausted by constant self-monitoring and second-guessing
- Neurodivergent, Queer, chronically ill, or simply someone who’s had to mask to survive.
- Ready to feel safe being fully yourself… without risking your job, your relationships, or your place in the world.
- Tired of figuring it all out alone.
I spent years not knowing I was masked. Here's what changed.
Don't just take my word for it.
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 reviews on Google
"A Renewed Sense of Hope After Years of Burnout"
“Through How to Unmask, I gained invaluable tools and a renewed sense of hope after years of suffering from burnout. Nicci Lou is an exceptional coach whose intuitive, compassionate approach made a lasting impact on me. I would recommend her to anyone seeking meaningful, authentic change”
-Vicky
Creative introvert. Recovering Perfectionist
You're Not Broken. You're Built From Other People's Bricks.
Here's a way of thinking about 'the mask' that might help.
Way to go - I'm a literal person, so let's describe what's happening to me by telling me I am wearing something on my face I can't feel! No thank- I don't compute, so I came up with The Lego Analogy.
Imagine we're all given a set of Lego bricks at birth - all our quirks, our values, our personality. No instructions - no one gets them. But some people grow up in safe, easy to compute environments where their bricks feel 'right' They trust them. They build with their own pieces.
Others of us felt different from day one. And we heard words to back up why.
"Why is it always you?" "That's too much." "Why can't you be more like your cousin?"
So we started swapping out our own bricks. For our parents'. For our teachers' until we have so much distrust of ourselves that we're swapping them out with everyone we meet - the old lady on the bus that girl in the ladies toilet. Their pieces have to be less wrong than ours.
Until one day someone asks, "what's your favourite music?" and we wonder "what would you like it to be?".
Over time we stop recognising which parts are even ours and if we find our own bricks later the foundations of our tower are already so rocky that burnout or a health crisis are inevitable.
Masking without real choice isn't pretending. It's barely surviving.
Unmasking isn't about tearing the tower down. It's about rebuilding it — carefully, safely — with your own bricks. That's what this programme is for.
With the support of the group and the Seek. Shift. Shine.™ methodology I've created to guide you - you'll start exploring what feels like 'you', start to feel more stable and maybe even start to action your dreams -again. All with peers to support you. ™™™ ™™
The Seek. Shift. Shine.™ Methodology
The Three Steps to Unmasking Safely
Understand why the mask exists.
Short, digestible videos (3–6 minutes) that explore why the mask exists, where it came from, and what it's been protecting you from. No toxic positivity. No "just think positive." Real, honest, neurodiversity-affirming context.
- Discover what the mask is and why it shows up
- Explore the culture you were born into
- Rediscover stimming and what it might look like for you
- Use the confidence–motivation–autonomy triangle to understand what actually gets things done
- All videos come with full transcripts and subtitles
Use The Unmasking Wheel
This is where we get practical. Using my signature Unmasking Wheel — created specifically for this work — you map out where you're masking, area by area, person by person and decide what you want to do about it. At your pace. With and when you choose
- Get up close with the Unmasking Wheel
- Work through all 8 areas with over-the-shoulder support
- See how to adapt it for any context you're masking in
- Understand your options — including choosing to keep the mask on when you need to
- And much much more...
Build a Life That Fits You
The practical bit that nobody else covers. What happens after you start to unmask? What do you do when you want the mask but it feels paper thin? How do you hold your power without blowing your life up?
- Scripts for real situations — masked version, unmasked version, and the middle ground that keeps your power without the fallout
- Support for keeping up momentum when your brain doesn't cooperate
- A safe-to-use Mask Cost Calculator for those moments where the mask is a choice, not a cage
Everything You Need. Nothing you don't.
How to Unmask - Safely
EXPERT SUPPORT TO DISCOVER AND UNCOVER YOU
✅ Two 1:1 coaching calls (30 mins ) - at a time of your choosing to personalise your journey with Nicci
✅ Bite-sized Seek, Shift, Shine videos - subtitles, transcripts and summaries included, because your brain gets to choose how it takes this in
✅ The Unmasking Wheel Handouts - to work though with whoever you choose
✅ Small is Smart bonus within The Brilliantly You community - to break down overwhelming tasks into quick wins
✅ Monthly live group coaching calls on Google Meet for 6 months. Afterwards (once you've lost the overwhelm) you have the option to join my membership and keep the content and community and add in Q and A's with me as well as EVERYTHING I have ever built - inc business building templates and programmes - all for £99 for a WHOLE Year!
✅ 24/7 support from Nicci Lou- through the Brilliantly YOU community, or email
✅ A community leader board where showing up gets rewarded — points mean prizes including 1:1 coaching and self-care bundles
✅ Full access via app or desktop — this goes where you go
✅ Free Access to the full Brilliantly YOU hub, including:
- Body Doubling - for tasks like work, self-care, and housework (because doing it alone is harder)
- Sound Baths - created by Sound Therapist Naomy Raven, for rest and nervous system repair
- Breathwork and meditation - available on video and at live events
- The Brilliantly You Community - your space to stay connected with other Brilliants like you
- And more added regularly as the community grows...
Inside How to Unmask - Safely, you’ll learn to unmask safely using the Seek. Shift. Shine.™ methodology - and you’ll have all the support, tools, and resources you need to make it happen.
"I've Made Decisions. I've Made Changes. I'm Living My life and Happy."
“I have struggled all my life, like literally all my life, for as long as I can remember. And then I met Nicci Lou. Nicci gets it. Not once have I had to re-explain anything to her, Nicci Understands, Nicci knows, Nicci lives it too - she's been there and now she's there for you! despite being the expert though, Nicci is so open and warm in her approach and has a heartfelt genuine curiosity for life and consideration for others that I was immediately at ease.
I have worked with so many therapists and professionals in the past, some of them for extended periods of time and having done How to Unmask the transformation that she has empowered me to make in a few short months is life changing. If you had told me before I started where I would be now I wouldn't have believed you but with the program and Nicci's relentless help and support I have been able to be me!
I've made decisions. I've made changes. I've taken off the mask and I'm living my life and happy! I am so grateful. Thank you."
-Jo
AuDHDer and How to Unmask Graduate
Only 17 Spaces Available. Absolute Tops!
This is NOT a do it yourself programme where you're left to figure it out yourself. I am available 24/7 in the wider community of your soon to be friends as well as those who've done the work and stayed for the content, chat and access to me.
Then in How to Unmask - Safely itself, I close the doors at 17 people, because I want to hear from EVERYONE who wants to speak in the Group Coaching. I want to hold you through the struggles and celebrate the wins.
And in answering messages - that sometimes ping at midnight - I don't have the capacity to do that with too many people. Even if I love being a part of your wins and excitement whatever the hour! 😂
Besides it's mainly for you - because every person who has gone through this experience has voiced feeling seen, heard and held and has in response given a 5 star review - EVERY single person. That kind of hand held attention demands small groups.
So if you hit the button and get a "not today" you know why. It's no reflection on your amazeballs self and how much I want to support YOU. And if you email me at nicci@amplifytothrive.com we can add you to the waiting list. I can't give you a time limit on that... so if you don't want to keep your life on hold for 6 months - maybe join now before you feel ready, so we can get you feeling more stable together? Your choice. 😀
EXPERT SUPPORT TO DISCOVER AND UNCOVER YOU
£64/month for only 6 months
Includes monthly coaching calls and full access to all content. As well as self care and body doubling bonuses. AND a short programme to help with overwhelm in a way that helped me travel through 18 countries in two years without burnout - when I couldn't get to Australia without an intervention 20 years before!
Couch-friendly. Spoon-sensitive. You stay in charge.
Got questions first? Email me at nicci@amplifytothrive.com or WhatsApp me on +447903 531599 - I'm here.
“ Brilliantly you - how to unmask is a deep dive into how to unmask, where participants are gently guided with humour, real life stories and compassion to start/ continue the process of learning and healing in a safe space. The app and associated tools are easy to use and follow. Providing access to those tools/ app beyond the course enables participants to dip in and out as needed, which also helps. Thanks Nicci Lou!”
Gill Knuckey
How to Unmask Client
“I have had the opportunity to be coached by Nicci several times and through that work have been able to get unstuck and accomplish tasks that I had struggled to initiate for months if not years. Nicci asks great questions that really challenged my own through processes and supported me through getting unstuck. I have noticed that my own thinking is becoming more supportive and I am thinking/working through my own challenges better since working with her. I would not hesitate recommend Coaching with Nicci to any of my loved ones.”
Allana Bykes
One to one and How to Unmask Client
One Lego Brick at a Time (what the videos cover)
One Lego Brick at a Time (what the videos cover)
Inside How to Unmask you'll apply the Seek. Shift. Shine.™ methodology step by step — at your own pace, in your own amazeballs way. Here's a teeny peek at what's inside...
Inside How to Unmask you'll apply the Seek. Shift. Shine.™ methodology step by step — at your own pace, in your own amazeballs way. Here's a teeny peek at what's inside...
Who You Are & Why You’ve Been Masking to date
The mask isn't just personal – it's cultural. We'll unpack how it formed and how to start letting go without shame.
What’s Holding You Back (Hint: It’s Not Laziness)
Get tools to support executive functioning, motivation, and autonomy – and start doing what matters. Without burning out.
Ask for What You Need (No Apology)
Build scripts and confidence for consent-based communication. Start to form a support circle that actually feels safe.
Deep Dive into The Unmasking Wheel™
Map your unique unmasking path - who you can be fully yourself with, who you can't, and how to feel safe either way.
Troubleshooting When You’re Stuck
Foggy brain, decision fatigue, not knowing what you want? Your toolkit for getting unstuck without burning yourself out.
Take Up Space - you deserve it!
Stop apologising for existing. Take up space, stay connected – and take accountability for the bits that are actually yours.
"My Own Thinking is Becoming More Supportive"
“I recently had to have minor surgery and decided to ask for what I needed. And without disclosing my diagnosis to justify what I needed. I could hear them say to each other "she is super sensitive to light and sound" and adjust things as needed - like wrapping a blanket around my ears. The day wasn't perfect but it had moments of the lovely- basically it was a completely different experience to what I had had before. I was in control. I had a plan. And I was listening to my body.
Thank you for your unmasking program it has had such a significant impact on my life even a year after graduating.
-Allana
AuDHDer and How to Unmask - Safely Graduate
Upcoming events
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Tuesday, June 23 · 18:00 BST (1h)View more
These calls are actual coaching call, a separate experience from the videos on the app/desktop. Although you will find the sl…
Read moreThese calls are actual coaching call, a separate experience from the videos on the app/desktop. Although you will find the slides we use as prompts in there, in case you want to look at them.
Any questions? Don't hesitate to reach out to nicci@amplifytothrive.comP.s. You can never be in the wrong place if you use the same meeting link for any of the GROUP coaching calls - they are all the same.
Read less -
Tuesday, September 29 · 18:00 BST (1h)View more
These calls are actual coaching call, a separate experience from the videos on the app/desktop.
Read more
Any questions? Don't hesitate…These calls are actual coaching call, a separate experience from the videos on the app/desktop.
Any questions? Don't hesitate to reach out to nicci@amplifytothrive.comP.s. You can never be in the wrong place if you use the same meeting link for any of the GROUP coaching calls - they are all the same.
Read less
Who’s Holding Space for You?
I’m Nicci Lou - Speaker, ICF-Certified Neurodiversity Specialist Coach and winner of The Neurodiversity Advocate of the Year 2026/27 for London and the South East as decided by a panel of judges for Prestige Small Business Awards. I'm a Queer AuDHD mum of neurodivergent kids, and former Senior Paediatric Nurse (trained at Great Ormond Street Hospital).
I barely made it through my teens, rebelled through my 20s, and spent my 30s in a pain so constant it felt like a second skin. Eventually, I stopped trying to fix myself - and started building a life that actually fit.
And wouldn’t you know… the chronic pain and poor mental health began to ease.
The first thing I did with that new-found health? As a solo parent I took my two primary-aged kids travelling through 18 countries over two years - life learning as we went.
In the last of those countries, Japan, I sat across from a woman whose child had just received a neurodivergent diagnosis. She was vomiting daily from overwhelm - terrified for her daughter’s future. And I thought - maybe it’s time we - the masked, the misfits, the quietly brilliant - let ourselves be seen…
I created How to Unmask- Safely because for 40 years I lived a half life. I bought into the heteronormative script. I went through the pointless hospital admissions. The unnecessary operations. The years of collecting diagnoses and being told I was too much - or not enough.
This is the program I wish had existed for me. And now, with the Seek. Shift. Shine.™ methodology, it’s here for you too.
My Personal Guarantee
I created the How to Unmask - safely program because I’ve lived it and so I stand by the support I offer.
If by the end of the first month you’ve:
✅ Had a 1:1 call
✅ Joined us live for a group coaching call
✅ Watched the Module 1 and 2 videos, taken action and shared in the community...
…and you still don’t feel like How to Unmask is what you hoped it would be?
I'll remove your access to the Brilliantly YOU community and issue a full refund — no awkwardness, no quibbles.
Just let me know before the end of month one. You genuinely have nothing to lose… except the mask. 😀
Is this for you?
How to Unmask is for you if:
- You're neurodivergent (diagnosed or not), queer, chronically ill, or simply someone who's had to mask to survive
- You're exhausted from constant self-monitoring and want it to stop
- You want to understand yourself - not fix yourself
- You're looking for support that actually honours how your brain works
- You've tried other things that weren't built for people like you
It's probably not for you if:
- You're looking for a quick fix or a done-in-a-weekend solution
- You want someone to tell you what to do — this is collaborative, not prescriptive
- You're not ready yet - and that's completely okay
Your people are already inside How to Unmask - Safely. Come and find them for...
EXPERT SUPPORT TO DISCOVER AND UNCOVER YOU
FAQ
FAQ
Questions You May Have about How to Unmask- Safely...
Questions You May Have about How to Unmask- Safely...
If you're wondering about something, someone may have been wondering before you - so have a look below and see if I have answered it for you. If I haven't - reach out to nicci@amplifytothrive.com and I'll answer it for you
Nope. While many of the Brilliants who join this program are self-identified or still exploring whether neurodivergence fits, some know it doesn't. And that they found themselves masked thanks to being LGBTQIA+ or because they grew up in an unsafe home.
You don’t need to tick any boxes, show paperwork or share anything at all that you don't want to. If you’ve felt the pressure to perform, to hide parts of yourself, or to keep the peace at the cost of your own personality then this is for you.
Only if you want to. There’s no pressure to perform or disclose anything you're not comfortable with. Many people find connection in the group, connection that extends beyond the timeline of the program itself. But your pace and boundaries are yours to decide.
Not at all. While the program is neurodivergent-affirming and trauma-informed, it’s open to anyone who has lived masked - including those navigating chronic illness, LGBTQIA+ identities, complex trauma, or being “too much” for the world around them. For you! 😀
They'll be another one along every month for as long as you're a member. You'll also be supported via the private forum within the Brilliantly YOU community on Simplero on desktop and app.
This isn’t generic mindset coaching. This is neurodivergent-affirming support that honours your lived experience and laughs at mine - at least I am told that it's fun, in all the right ways. No toxic positivity. No quick fixes. Just space to safely reconnect with yourself, on your terms.
I am ICF certified as a Neurodivergent Specialist Coach, but I am NOT a therapist. Many clients work with me alongside other therapy and you're welcome to do so - others tell me that while therapy has a place - they have a mindset shift on the program never seen in years of working with a therapist.
I have had both therapy and coaching and as a quick differentiation - therapy is to help with unresolved trauma, whereas coaching is for when looking back is no longer helping and you want your life to start - NOW.
Because I built this for people whose nervous systems have had enough, not for people with deep pockets. £64/month for 6 months gets you everything - the content, the coaching (one-to-one and group coaching), the bonus programme to support you in doing overwhelming taks, videos so you can body double with me, meditations and sound baths and of course the community (and me) to chat with 24/7.
The only caveat is the 6 month minimum commitment, so it's worth being sure you're ready.
But if you are, there's no better time than now! If you want to stay in the fold afterwards - you can get access to ALL the other things I have made as a conversion copywriter and coach for only £99 for the WHOLE Year. It's the AuDHD Handbook. The guide to life we all wanted as kids.
